Until Forever by Cloutier Luisa

Author:Cloutier, Luisa [Cloutier, Luisa]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Black Rose Writing
Published: 2018-05-30T16:00:00+00:00

. . . . .

I found myself alone a lot. Brandon left often for overnight exercises. And working two jobs, he wasn’t around much. I hated sleeping alone. I hated eating alone. I even had to go to the hospital alone when I was stung by a scorpion while he was away.

When he was home, he was often tired from working so hard. The Marines were stressful and he needed time to unwind when he came home. But I needed time with him, and many times my need for his companionship conflicted with his need to de-stress from the day’s work.

One time, when I was missing him terribly, he came home late from work. I had been anticipating his return and needed to be with him, to make love and feel like a couple. But when he walked in the door I was surprised to see that he had brought a buddy home from the base. He hadn’t told me. Fortunately I’d made enough dinner. The three of us ate together, the two of them talking, me feeling like an outsider. After we ate, I thought Brandon was going to say goodnight to his friend and spend the rest of the night just him and me, but instead he and his friend went into the living room to play on the PlayStation.

I was so upset I could barely keep from throwing all of the dishes and glasses in the kitchen at him and his friend. I silently cleaned the kitchen and then went upstairs to our bedroom without saying a word. An hour passed before I heard the door, a car leaving the driveway, then Brandon’s footsteps coming upstairs.

After he entered the bedroom, saying, “What a day!” he stopped, shocked to see my packed suitcases on the bed.

“What are you doing, Luisa?”

“I’m leaving.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m going home.”

“Why? What’s wrong? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Why?”

“I hate it here. I hate being alone. We’re not married. You’re never here. When you are, you play with your friend, you don’t come to be with me. I had enough. Basta! I’m leaving!”

He rushed over to me and grasped my shoulders. “No, please Luisa, don’t do this. I love you. I need you.”

“No, you don’t. You need PlayStation.”

“No, no, I’m sorry. I was just trying to let go of stress. I didn’t want to be grouchy with you, I wanted to get rid of all of that on the game. But I would much rather be with you. I’ll never do it again. I promise you.”

I calmed myself and stared up into his eyes. “I’m lonely here, Brandon. I miss my family. I don’t have friends. I don’t do anything worthwhile. I hate my life. I can’t stay any longer.”

“You can’t leave me,” he said. He dropped down to his knees. “Please, Luisa. I need you. If you leave, I—I—I couldn’t stand it, losing you.

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